1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:04,938
And at exactly 19:00 hours.

2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,072
Khadijah will arrive

3
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:08,408
at the designated
Chinese restaurant

4
00:00:08,474 --> 00:00:11,311
with Synclaire's parents,
whom I'm referring to as.

5
00:00:11,377 --> 00:00:13,446
Eagles one and two.

6
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,549
Regine, it's an engagement party

7
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,217
not "Mission Impossible."

8
00:00:18,596 --> 00:00:19,596
Says you.

9
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,021
I gotta coordinate this thing

10
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,989
for 12 bucks a person

11
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:26,292
including the Buddha
beer fountain.

12
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,395
All I care about is that our
parents get along, Overton.

13
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:30,964
Oh, don't worry about
it, sweet pea.

14
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,866
Uh, I know they didn't
hit it off too well

15
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,167
when they spoke on the phone

16
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,769
but as soon as they
meet each other

17
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:38,672
they'll be closer than
pork and a pot sticker.

18
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,576
Than fortune in a cookie.

19
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,444
'Than chop and suey.'

20
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,947
Oh, oh. Than raw
fish on white rice.

21
00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:48,615
Oh, oh, oh, wait now.
That's Japanese.

22
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:49,716
Mm‐hmm.

23
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,223
‐ Would you listen?
‐ That's alright.

24
00:00:51,247 --> 00:00:54,120
‐ Let's do Italian. ‐
Okay, uh, cal on zone.

25
00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:56,489
Uh, uh, um, Al and Pacino.

26
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,258
Oh, oh, that's..

27
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:01,034
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪

28
00:01:01,101 --> 00:01:02,703
♪ Single ♪

29
00:01:02,769 --> 00:01:05,305
♪ Ooh and in a nineties
kind of world ♪

30
00:01:05,371 --> 00:01:07,508
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

31
00:01:07,574 --> 00:01:08,808
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪

32
00:01:08,875 --> 00:01:10,252
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪

33
00:01:10,276 --> 00:01:12,316
♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪
♪ You gotta fight ♪

34
00:01:12,378 --> 00:01:14,548
♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪

35
00:01:14,615 --> 00:01:16,449
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪

36
00:01:16,494 --> 00:01:18,294
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪

37
00:01:18,318 --> 00:01:19,838
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪

38
00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:22,064
♪ Do what you want, girlfriend
cause it's your world ♪

39
00:01:22,756 --> 00:01:25,125
♪ Haa ♪

40
00:01:29,930 --> 00:01:31,732
Regine, how can you still
be working on that

41
00:01:31,798 --> 00:01:33,233
engagement party?

42
00:01:33,299 --> 00:01:36,202
You already have four
emergency evacuation plans.

43
00:01:36,269 --> 00:01:38,705
Including that stupid
helicopter thing.

44
00:01:38,772 --> 00:01:41,041
Oh, dear, the party is planned.

45
00:01:41,107 --> 00:01:43,176
I am now cocking the spring

46
00:01:43,243 --> 00:01:46,547
on a foolproof Max
and Kyle trap.

47
00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:48,414
Why you still trying to find out

48
00:01:48,481 --> 00:01:50,517
if those two are
getting any swerve on?

49
00:01:52,218 --> 00:01:55,088
Because I feed on
drama, Khadijah.

50
00:01:55,155 --> 00:01:57,824
And this is an all
you can eat buffet.

51
00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:00,934
Hello, hello.

52
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:03,403
Okay, Regine, you said
it was important.

53
00:02:03,469 --> 00:02:05,071
And I see that Max is involved.

54
00:02:05,138 --> 00:02:06,740
So I assume we're
taking rabies shots.

55
00:02:09,266 --> 00:02:10,386
If we're going to the clinic

56
00:02:10,410 --> 00:02:12,846
let's get him fixed.

57
00:02:12,913 --> 00:02:14,515
It shouldn't take too long.

58
00:02:15,949 --> 00:02:19,819
If we're done with the
oh‐so‐clever fake bickering..

59
00:02:23,023 --> 00:02:25,091
I'm doing the place
cards for the party.

60
00:02:25,158 --> 00:02:26,226
Who are you bringing?

61
00:02:26,292 --> 00:02:29,162
‐ I‐I don't know. ‐ Ah‐ha!

62
00:02:29,229 --> 00:02:31,264
You don't know.

63
00:02:31,331 --> 00:02:33,734
Because you don't have a date.

64
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,301
Because you two have been

65
00:02:35,368 --> 00:02:37,904
seeing each other
behind my back.

66
00:02:39,405 --> 00:02:42,108
Regine, I'm currently
juggling three women.

67
00:02:42,175 --> 00:02:43,215
And I have not figured out

68
00:02:43,243 --> 00:02:45,411
which two to let
fall into the abyss

69
00:02:45,478 --> 00:02:48,248
of Kylelisness.

70
00:02:48,314 --> 00:02:49,315
Buh‐bye.

71
00:02:51,952 --> 00:02:53,854
Mm‐hmm.

72
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:58,091
And, uh, what's
your story, Maxine?

73
00:02:59,425 --> 00:03:01,902
None of your damn business,
Inch High Private Eye.

74
00:03:05,156 --> 00:03:07,316
I'm telling you, if we don't
have dates for this party.

75
00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:08,485
Regine is gonna to send
out the blood hounds.

76
00:03:08,509 --> 00:03:09,810
So, who are you going to take?

77
00:03:09,876 --> 00:03:12,779
Maxine, if I bring a date,
it is not a question of who

78
00:03:12,846 --> 00:03:14,615
it is a question of which.

79
00:03:14,681 --> 00:03:16,650
With you, it's a
question of what.

80
00:03:18,018 --> 00:03:20,386
You know, you make
my skin crawl.

81
00:03:20,453 --> 00:03:22,022
Now, come here and kiss papa.

82
00:03:24,858 --> 00:03:26,326
Get off me! Ha, ha, ha, ha.

83
00:03:26,392 --> 00:03:28,962
‐ Get off me. Stop!
‐ Ha, ha, ha.

84
00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:35,669
Is the runt gone?

85
00:03:35,736 --> 00:03:39,205
Yeah, she ran upstairs yelling, "Curses!
Foiled again."

86
00:03:39,272 --> 00:03:41,274
Good, 'cause I need a bogus
date for this party.

87
00:03:41,341 --> 00:03:43,101
And I'm not sure I can
get one of my reserves

88
00:03:43,125 --> 00:03:44,559
on such short notice.

89
00:03:45,779 --> 00:03:47,681
Why don't you just take Kyle?

90
00:03:47,748 --> 00:03:51,217
Nobody cares whether you
guys are in a relationship.

91
00:03:51,284 --> 00:03:54,020
I mean, they may mock
you, but they won't care.

92
00:03:55,656 --> 00:03:58,458
We, we're not in a relationship.
We're just having sex.

93
00:04:00,967 --> 00:04:03,269
Really good sex, though.
Ha, ha, ha!

94
00:04:03,336 --> 00:04:04,947
‐ You're getting all freaky‐‐ ‐ I know.
Ha, ha. Look.

95
00:04:04,971 --> 00:04:07,291
Hey, you don't have to.. Just,
just get me somebody decent.

96
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,317
He doesn't have to be,
"Thank you, Jesus," fine.

97
00:04:11,277 --> 00:04:12,713
Take Teddy.

98
00:04:12,779 --> 00:04:14,581
Come on, you know
he's sitting at home.

99
00:04:14,648 --> 00:04:17,751
That pathetic stiff that
spends an hour and a half

100
00:04:17,818 --> 00:04:20,220
tellin' you the history
of a paper clip?

101
00:04:20,286 --> 00:04:21,221
That's him.

102
00:04:21,287 --> 00:04:22,355
What's his number?

103
00:04:25,491 --> 00:04:26,627
Where is Khadijah?

104
00:04:26,693 --> 00:04:28,529
She was supposed to be
here with the Eagles

105
00:04:28,595 --> 00:04:30,096
three and a half minutes ago.

106
00:04:30,163 --> 00:04:32,432
I know what happened. I'll
tell you what happened.

107
00:04:32,498 --> 00:04:33,833
Our parents met outside

108
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:36,140
and right now a James is
wrestling a Jones to the ground.

109
00:04:36,164 --> 00:04:38,004
That's what happened!
I can feel it.

110
00:04:38,071 --> 00:04:39,639
Oh, or maybe they
were just late.

111
00:04:39,706 --> 00:04:43,009
‐ Mom, dad. ‐ Aw, you look nice.

112
00:04:43,076 --> 00:04:45,245
‐ Oh, ho‐ho, hey. ‐ Ah!

113
00:04:45,311 --> 00:04:47,213
Oh, everybody? These
are my parents.

114
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,716
She's mom, he's dad.

115
00:04:49,783 --> 00:04:52,619
Overton, you're even more
handsome than your pictures.

116
00:04:52,686 --> 00:04:54,688
Specially without that
three armed sweater.

117
00:04:54,755 --> 00:04:56,156
Synclaire knit you.

118
00:04:56,222 --> 00:04:58,625
Got a little carried away.

119
00:04:58,692 --> 00:05:01,434
Well, it's a pleasure to finally
meet you, Mr. and Mrs. James.

120
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,170
Oh, please, Overton,
call me dad.

121
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,239
Or Mr. Dad, if you don't
feel comfortable yet.

122
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,875
[guffaws]

123
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,911
Now, with the collapse
of the Ming dynasty

124
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,880
chopsticks were
suddenly popular again.

125
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:17,551
Except for one critical
change in their design.

126
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,986
Are you ready?

127
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,722
Ah, what, who?

128
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:24,357
The tips went from
round to square.

129
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,962
Oh, the old round
to square story.

130
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:29,963
[chuckles]

131
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,498
Max, you're a lucky girl.

132
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,735
Yeah, thanks for the hook‐up.

133
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,671
Oh, hello, everyone.

134
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,710
I would like you to
meet, Lisa DeLongpre.

135
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:44,711
Hi, hi.

136
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,980
You look familiar.

137
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,982
[gasps] The Secaucus
Trekkie Convention.

138
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,286
[chuckles]

139
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,556
No, more likely you've
seen her enchanting

140
00:05:55,622 --> 00:06:00,260
visage on the covers of Elle
or Cosmopolitan, you know.

141
00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:03,436
And, don't miss next
month's British Vogue.

142
00:06:03,504 --> 00:06:05,438
I'll be sure to
wrap my fish in it.

143
00:06:08,274 --> 00:06:10,376
Kyle, a word.

144
00:06:10,443 --> 00:06:12,345
[laughs]

145
00:06:12,412 --> 00:06:13,847
You stay lovely, okay?

146
00:06:18,785 --> 00:06:21,287
I thought you're gonna bring
a bogus date like mine.

147
00:06:21,354 --> 00:06:23,289
Not some wannabe Jet centerfold.

148
00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:25,892
Lisa is an old friend who just

149
00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:27,239
happened to be
free this evening.

150
00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:29,062
So, um, I flew her
in from Los Angeles.

151
00:06:29,129 --> 00:06:30,409
You know, I paid for everything.

152
00:06:31,798 --> 00:06:33,734
You won't even give me cab fare.

153
00:06:35,068 --> 00:06:39,372
Maxine, we are not together.
Remember?

154
00:06:39,439 --> 00:06:41,708
[guffaws]

155
00:06:42,876 --> 00:06:43,876
[hoots]

156
00:06:45,111 --> 00:06:47,247
To be perfectly honest,
I was kind of nervous

157
00:06:47,313 --> 00:06:48,448
when I popped the question

158
00:06:48,515 --> 00:06:51,552
until Synclaire said, "Oh, oh, oh.
Wait, now. Yes."

159
00:06:52,819 --> 00:06:55,255
Now, I'm looking forward to
a lifetime of happiness.

160
00:06:55,321 --> 00:06:56,356
Well, son, I'll tell you.

161
00:06:56,422 --> 00:06:57,891
Marriage is a lot like prison.

162
00:06:57,958 --> 00:06:58,892
Except, the food isn't as good

163
00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:01,768
and your cellmate never changes.

164
00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:03,937
Clinton, you're just
a joke machine.

165
00:07:04,004 --> 00:07:06,406
And that won't work
for nobody but you.

166
00:07:06,472 --> 00:07:07,708
[laughs]

167
00:07:07,774 --> 00:07:11,477
‐ Pumpkin! ‐ Hey! Hey!

168
00:07:11,545 --> 00:07:14,314
Alright, now. The
Jones' in the house.

169
00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:15,782
‐ That's right! ‐ That's right!

170
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:20,186
‐ Lumpy! Is that you? ‐ Yes..

171
00:07:20,253 --> 00:07:22,055
Oh, honey.

172
00:07:22,122 --> 00:07:24,591
My little lump.

173
00:07:24,658 --> 00:07:27,127
A‐and don't eat too many
of them Chinese dumplings.

174
00:07:27,193 --> 00:07:31,364
Or you'll blow up like the
Michelin man again, Lumpy.

175
00:07:31,431 --> 00:07:34,434
Yeah, well, it's good to
see you, too, Mr. Jones.

176
00:07:34,501 --> 00:07:37,771
‐ Mother Jones, Mother Jones.
‐ Oh, pretty lady.

177
00:07:37,838 --> 00:07:39,506
‐ Oh, that's so sweet.
‐ Thank you.

178
00:07:39,573 --> 00:07:42,609
Oh, Father Jones, give me some love.
Oh, ha, ha.

179
00:07:42,676 --> 00:07:46,412
Ooh, have you lost weight,
gained some hair?

180
00:07:46,479 --> 00:07:48,615
‐ Both. ‐ Oh, my.

181
00:07:48,682 --> 00:07:50,784
And I like it.

182
00:07:53,353 --> 00:07:55,889
Well, here we are.

183
00:07:55,956 --> 00:07:58,859
Mom, dad, I'd like you
to meet two people

184
00:07:58,925 --> 00:08:00,594
I know you're gonna love.

185
00:08:00,661 --> 00:08:04,204
He is an electrical contractor
who hails from Cleveland.

186
00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:05,839
She's a homemaker whose hobbies

187
00:08:05,906 --> 00:08:09,610
include shopping and Tai Chi.

188
00:08:09,676 --> 00:08:12,746
Won't you please say hello
to Otis and Odelle Jones.

189
00:08:12,813 --> 00:08:14,147
Give 'em some love.

190
00:08:17,818 --> 00:08:19,720
They call this a rib?

191
00:08:19,786 --> 00:08:22,989
Now, what kind of midget
pig did this come from?

192
00:08:23,056 --> 00:08:26,459
Probably grazed on the same
farm they grew this baby corn.

193
00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:27,794
‐ So, you're right. ‐ Mm‐hmm.

194
00:08:27,861 --> 00:08:30,263
But if you wanna see
some serious meat..

195
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:32,370
You gotta come to the next
Jones family barbeque.

196
00:08:32,394 --> 00:08:33,199
Alright.

197
00:08:33,266 --> 00:08:34,901
Ribs bigger than my son's head.

198
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,363
Alright, I'm gonna take
that as a compliment.

199
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:39,405
‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ That's right.

200
00:08:39,472 --> 00:08:42,142
I can bring my famous yamaloaf.

201
00:08:42,208 --> 00:08:43,577
‐ Yamaloaf! ‐ Yoo!

202
00:08:43,644 --> 00:08:44,964
Sounds like a family
affair to me.

203
00:08:45,011 --> 00:08:45,946
(all) Mm.

204
00:08:46,012 --> 00:08:47,413
Oh, isn't this so sweet?

205
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:48,840
Feels like it's a
phone commercial.

206
00:08:48,864 --> 00:08:49,865
Mm‐hmm.

207
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:54,955
Look at them.

208
00:08:55,021 --> 00:08:57,891
Trying to make us think
they're dating other people

209
00:08:57,958 --> 00:09:00,100
by dating other people.

210
00:09:01,568 --> 00:09:02,969
Yeah, poor Kyle.

211
00:09:03,036 --> 00:09:06,239
Wasting his whole night
on a Miss USA look alike

212
00:09:06,306 --> 00:09:09,109
just so he could throw
salt in your game.

213
00:09:09,175 --> 00:09:10,544
Alright. But what about Max?

214
00:09:10,611 --> 00:09:12,611
(Regine) 'I mean, why did
she rummage to the bottom'

215
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:16,683
'of your reject pile
to find Wooden Boy?'

216
00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:18,484
[chuckles]

217
00:09:18,552 --> 00:09:20,654
You know, Regine, if you
got paid for the time

218
00:09:20,721 --> 00:09:22,756
you spend in other
people's business

219
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:24,424
you would afford
your own apartment.

220
00:09:25,726 --> 00:09:27,928
Let's work on that.

221
00:09:27,994 --> 00:09:30,030
Lilah, try some of
this egg foo yung.

222
00:09:30,096 --> 00:09:33,133
Oh, Clinton, take that
off my plate, please.

223
00:09:33,199 --> 00:09:34,868
You never try anything new.

224
00:09:34,935 --> 00:09:36,295
By the time you got
off enough guts

225
00:09:36,319 --> 00:09:38,104
to try a new course,
it was gone.

226
00:09:38,171 --> 00:09:40,240
Why don't you eat it for me?

227
00:09:40,306 --> 00:09:41,706
With your mouth full
it might muffle

228
00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:43,331
some of that nonsense
I'm hearing.

229
00:09:46,212 --> 00:09:48,849
Yeah, you, you all talk
about some good television.

230
00:09:48,915 --> 00:09:51,952
Who saw "When animals attack"?

231
00:09:52,018 --> 00:09:53,353
Ri‐right.

232
00:09:53,419 --> 00:09:55,556
Whe‐whe‐when that deer
was beating on that man.

233
00:09:55,622 --> 00:09:57,991
And it was just clubbing
him down with hooves.

234
00:09:58,058 --> 00:10:00,493
‐ Yeah, literally. ‐
Congratulations, Lilah.

235
00:10:00,561 --> 00:10:03,704
You brought a joyous gathering
to a screeching halt.

236
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,307
Look like somebody ordered
up some ugly in here.

237
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:08,775
I'm not the one
who's been forcing

238
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,476
those stupid jokes on everyone.

239
00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:13,346
Lord knows, I don't miss that.

240
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,053
Oh, and I don't miss
your lectures on that

241
00:10:15,077 --> 00:10:17,584
ab‐roller gathering
dust in the corner.

242
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,821
Hey, w‐what's going on?

243
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:23,189
Go ahead. Tell her, Clinton.
She has a right to know.

244
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:24,925
Your father and I are separated.

245
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,528
What?

246
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:34,000
Separated?

247
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,570
Bu‐but you all.. You
two look so together.

248
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,238
I'm sorry, baby.

249
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,440
We were going to tell
you after your wedding.

250
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:41,441
Well, how sweet.

251
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:42,576
Why, why give crystal

252
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,444
when a divorce is so
much more permanent?

253
00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:46,947
Otis, honey, why don't we go

254
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,782
look at the beer
Buddha over there?

255
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,884
Uh, if we can see the
beer Buddha from here

256
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,319
why we gotta go over there?

257
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:57,824
Otis, I put up with 600
miles of your driving.

258
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,867
You could at least
walk 12 feet with me.

259
00:11:03,504 --> 00:11:04,571
'Come on.'

260
00:11:04,638 --> 00:11:08,542
Son, I gotta go look
at the beer Buddha.

261
00:11:08,609 --> 00:11:09,810
And so do you.

262
00:11:10,944 --> 00:11:12,312
Just delight us, come on.

263
00:11:14,114 --> 00:11:15,616
What's going on with you two?

264
00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:18,284
Yeah, you guys always used to

265
00:11:18,351 --> 00:11:19,986
seem like the perfect couple.

266
00:11:20,053 --> 00:11:22,188
All kissy, kissy and stuff.

267
00:11:22,255 --> 00:11:24,490
Slow dancin' when there
wasn't any music.

268
00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:26,426
And that was in church.

269
00:11:27,493 --> 00:11:28,795
That was 20 years ago.

270
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:30,063
People change.

271
00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:31,898
But they can change together.

272
00:11:31,965 --> 00:11:34,868
Uh, look at Demi and Bruce.
They both went bald. I mean..

273
00:11:38,304 --> 00:11:41,041
Your mother just tunes me out.

274
00:11:41,107 --> 00:11:43,710
[sighing] That's right, Clinton.

275
00:11:43,777 --> 00:11:45,378
It's all my fault.

276
00:11:45,445 --> 00:11:47,948
I'm the one who never listens.
Excuse me!

277
00:11:48,014 --> 00:11:49,249
‐ See? ‐ Mom, don't go.

278
00:11:49,315 --> 00:11:52,452
I opened my mouth, poof!
She's the Invisible Woman.

279
00:11:52,519 --> 00:11:54,921
Well, two can play that game.

280
00:11:54,988 --> 00:11:57,490
‐ Well, daddy, don't go. ‐
Uncle Clinton, Uncle Clinton.

281
00:12:00,393 --> 00:12:02,168
[gasps] I, uh..

282
00:12:02,235 --> 00:12:04,037
The only argument
they ever had was

283
00:12:04,104 --> 00:12:05,171
over who loved who more.

284
00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:07,007
What is this?

285
00:12:07,073 --> 00:12:09,342
Oh, they're still in love.

286
00:12:09,409 --> 00:12:11,778
I'm sure they'll
figure this all out.

287
00:12:11,845 --> 00:12:14,515
Yeah, well, your parents didn't.

288
00:12:14,581 --> 00:12:16,421
Well, that's because my
parents tended to fight

289
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,414
over my father
forgetting to come home.

290
00:12:21,054 --> 00:12:22,823
Wish there was
something I could do.

291
00:12:22,889 --> 00:12:24,958
Son, this is one of them times

292
00:12:25,025 --> 00:12:28,962
when you gotta let the
beaver build its own dam.

293
00:12:29,029 --> 00:12:31,732
I mean, why would they
pick a time like this

294
00:12:31,798 --> 00:12:34,167
to drop a big old
bomb like that?

295
00:12:34,234 --> 00:12:37,237
‐ What's up with that? ‐ Yeah!

296
00:12:37,303 --> 00:12:39,439
You don't hear me talking
about my bunions.

297
00:12:40,674 --> 00:12:42,509
And they deserve
some conversation.

298
00:12:44,144 --> 00:12:46,980
My memories go back way
before second grade.

299
00:12:47,047 --> 00:12:50,551
My very first memory was
of lying in my crib.

300
00:12:50,617 --> 00:12:53,019
Just, just, just lying there

301
00:12:53,086 --> 00:12:55,822
not, not really awake

302
00:12:55,889 --> 00:12:58,191
not really sleeping.

303
00:12:59,893 --> 00:13:02,002
I can relate.

304
00:13:02,068 --> 00:13:05,305
Mm... Half of my shampoo
models, they don't have hair

305
00:13:05,371 --> 00:13:06,907
as lush as yours.

306
00:13:06,973 --> 00:13:08,675
Uh, you know, a little genetics

307
00:13:08,742 --> 00:13:10,911
a little Fro‐So Soft. Yeah.

308
00:13:10,977 --> 00:13:12,713
[laughs]

309
00:13:12,779 --> 00:13:13,947
Give me your hair.

310
00:13:16,482 --> 00:13:18,184
Ooh, baby, that's hair.

311
00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:21,855
Oh, now, careful.

312
00:13:21,922 --> 00:13:22,922
You know my hair

313
00:13:22,956 --> 00:13:25,826
is one of my many
erogenous zones.

314
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,027
Ow!

315
00:13:28,328 --> 00:13:30,363
You can take it, big baby.

316
00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:32,365
‐ Oh, yeah. ‐ Duh, enough!

317
00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:34,367
Kyle, if you can
tear yourself away

318
00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:36,169
from lady fingers there

319
00:13:36,236 --> 00:13:37,738
I'd like to talk to you.

320
00:13:37,804 --> 00:13:40,440
Well, you keep those
ten digits warm, okay?

321
00:13:45,111 --> 00:13:46,547
Ey, where are they going?

322
00:13:46,613 --> 00:13:48,148
Who, who, who is
this leggy chick?

323
00:13:48,214 --> 00:13:49,149
Is Max paying you?

324
00:13:49,215 --> 00:13:51,317
Come on, man! I want answers!

325
00:13:52,653 --> 00:13:53,687
My head hurts.

326
00:13:56,823 --> 00:13:58,424
Alright, so what's
the deal, Barker?

327
00:13:58,491 --> 00:14:01,467
What you're trying to prove,
flying in that floozy?

328
00:14:01,535 --> 00:14:03,504
Maxine, bringing
dates was your idea.

329
00:14:03,570 --> 00:14:06,039
And as your escort proves,
New York's dating pool is

330
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:09,342
at the moment,
frighteningly shallow.

331
00:14:09,409 --> 00:14:11,878
Admit it, you imported
that chocolate cake

332
00:14:11,945 --> 00:14:13,279
to make me jealous.

333
00:14:14,881 --> 00:14:17,483
I will neither confirm
nor deny that.

334
00:14:17,551 --> 00:14:19,586
But the fact that you
are green with jealousy

335
00:14:19,653 --> 00:14:20,754
does make me kind of giddy.

336
00:14:20,821 --> 00:14:21,922
[sniggers]

337
00:14:21,988 --> 00:14:23,757
I am not jealous.

338
00:14:25,258 --> 00:14:26,593
It just burns me the freak up

339
00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:28,061
to see you with that woman.

340
00:14:29,530 --> 00:14:31,064
Now, Maxine, you say that again

341
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,933
and listen to yourself.

342
00:14:32,999 --> 00:14:35,969
Admit it. You like me.

343
00:14:37,938 --> 00:14:39,840
Not as much as you
like yourself.

344
00:14:40,707 --> 00:14:41,875
Well, that's a start.

345
00:14:41,942 --> 00:14:43,276
[chuckles]

346
00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:45,846
Mm, Kyle, I mean

347
00:14:45,912 --> 00:14:49,415
what good it would do
to admit such a thing?

348
00:14:49,482 --> 00:14:50,884
Because, then I wouldn't see you

349
00:14:50,951 --> 00:14:54,287
as the troll under
the bridge of truth.

350
00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:57,157
More like the brave Billy
Goat walking across it.

351
00:14:58,424 --> 00:15:02,468
Come on, Maxine.
Unburden your soul.

352
00:15:02,536 --> 00:15:05,238
‐ Rrrrr. ‐ Alright, shut up.

353
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:08,742
All these years of
on again, off again

354
00:15:08,809 --> 00:15:10,369
and sticking around,
you've grown on me.

355
00:15:10,393 --> 00:15:12,546
And in some ways, a lot
of ways, you're my equal.

356
00:15:12,613 --> 00:15:14,815
And although I'm not entirely
comfortable with that

357
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:15,881
that's just who I am.

358
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,483
There!

359
00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:19,285
I said it.

360
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,921
And that was quite an admission.

361
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:22,556
I just wish I knew
what it meant.

362
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:25,190
Oh, hell, man.

363
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,861
I like you.

364
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:34,100
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

365
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:37,403
Uh, Maxine. Now,
was that so hard?

366
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,874
Darling, come here. Yeah.

367
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,543
‐ It's true. ‐ Mm‐hmm.

368
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,711
‐ I like you. ‐ Mm.

369
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,815
And sometimes I think I‐‐

370
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:49,883
[screams]

371
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,985
And get the hell away from me!

372
00:15:58,559 --> 00:15:59,660
I hate that woman.

373
00:16:10,176 --> 00:16:12,112
Hey, baby. How you doin'?

374
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:15,057
Obie..

375
00:16:15,081 --> 00:16:17,618
Oh.

376
00:16:17,684 --> 00:16:20,153
If my parent's marriage can
break up, anybody's can.

377
00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:21,588
Even ours.

378
00:16:21,655 --> 00:16:23,095
What's the point of
jumping the broom

379
00:16:23,119 --> 00:16:26,359
if it's just gonna
end up like this?

380
00:16:26,426 --> 00:16:27,694
That's it.

381
00:16:29,596 --> 00:16:32,866
All James' report to the
foyer, immediately!

382
00:16:32,933 --> 00:16:35,301
I'm mopping up this mess
right here and right now.

383
00:16:35,368 --> 00:16:36,302
‐ You hear me? ‐ What
are you gonna do?

384
00:16:36,369 --> 00:16:38,171
No, you'll see. You‐‐.

385
00:16:38,238 --> 00:16:40,206
Did you say "Jones'" pumpkin?

386
00:16:40,273 --> 00:16:42,576
‐ No, mama, I said James'. ‐ Oh.

387
00:16:42,643 --> 00:16:44,083
We're going to have
a little meeting.

388
00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:45,350
And if it's about the two bucks

389
00:16:45,374 --> 00:16:47,604
for the cool check,
it's about time.

390
00:16:50,517 --> 00:16:52,653
Overton, if this is about Mrs.
James and me

391
00:16:52,719 --> 00:16:54,621
this is between Mrs.
James and me.

392
00:16:54,688 --> 00:16:56,089
No, this is not about you.

393
00:16:56,156 --> 00:16:58,224
My girl is having
doubts about us now.

394
00:16:58,291 --> 00:17:00,411
Honey, it's perfectly natural
to have second thoughts.

395
00:17:00,435 --> 00:17:02,402
Lord knows I should have.

396
00:17:02,468 --> 00:17:05,572
Oh, look who found
her funny bone.

397
00:17:05,639 --> 00:17:07,599
Wait a minute, Synclaire.
You're not having doubts

398
00:17:07,623 --> 00:17:09,843
because of what's going
on between them, are you?

399
00:17:09,910 --> 00:17:12,613
Don't put words in
my mouth, but yes.

400
00:17:12,679 --> 00:17:14,681
Oh, fool, if you
follow that logic

401
00:17:14,748 --> 00:17:16,717
you'll never get married.

402
00:17:16,783 --> 00:17:19,319
I mean, most marriages
end in divorce.

403
00:17:21,755 --> 00:17:23,056
I'm not helping, am I?

404
00:17:24,725 --> 00:17:26,560
I'm just gonna go over here.

405
00:17:26,627 --> 00:17:29,129
Honey, Overton is a sweet

406
00:17:29,195 --> 00:17:30,697
considerate man
who respects you.

407
00:17:30,764 --> 00:17:31,932
He is not a wind bag

408
00:17:31,998 --> 00:17:34,134
who turns everything
you say into a joke.

409
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,603
Well, and you're not
marrying some killjoy

410
00:17:36,670 --> 00:17:39,973
who talks about you like
you're not in the room.

411
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,442
I don't ever remember you two
going at each other like this.

412
00:17:42,509 --> 00:17:44,511
Wha‐what happened?

413
00:17:44,578 --> 00:17:46,913
Well, you moved to New York.

414
00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:48,882
Few years later, I
stopped teaching.

415
00:17:48,949 --> 00:17:50,150
And very shortly after that

416
00:17:50,216 --> 00:17:53,219
I realized how annoying
your father is.

417
00:17:53,286 --> 00:17:56,122
Your mother just doesn't
appreciate my sense of humor.

418
00:17:56,189 --> 00:17:58,825
No, what I don't appreciate
is having to keep what I want

419
00:17:58,892 --> 00:18:00,052
out of life to myself because

420
00:18:00,093 --> 00:18:02,168
you'll turn it into
a great big joke.

421
00:18:02,235 --> 00:18:03,169
Come here, baby.

422
00:18:03,236 --> 00:18:05,138
See, see, we're not like them.

423
00:18:05,205 --> 00:18:06,907
I'd never make fun
of your dreams.

424
00:18:06,973 --> 00:18:09,042
Did I scoff when you
did that naked play?

425
00:18:09,109 --> 00:18:10,043
‐ What? ‐ What?

426
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:13,446
No! Now, zippity, yoo‐hay, now.

427
00:18:13,514 --> 00:18:14,447
Zip.

428
00:18:14,515 --> 00:18:16,049
Stay on the subject here.

429
00:18:17,150 --> 00:18:19,319
Ma, you tell daddy

430
00:18:19,385 --> 00:18:20,921
what it is you wanna do.

431
00:18:20,987 --> 00:18:22,388
He'll laugh.

432
00:18:22,455 --> 00:18:24,691
Hmm. Hey, at least one
of us will feel better.

433
00:18:25,391 --> 00:18:27,360
Dad!

434
00:18:27,427 --> 00:18:29,095
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

435
00:18:30,096 --> 00:18:31,097
Okay, Lilah.

436
00:18:32,666 --> 00:18:34,034
I am listening.

437
00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:41,742
I want to be a lounge singer.

438
00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:43,644
[laughs]

439
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,211
'Did you hear that?'

440
00:18:45,278 --> 00:18:47,247
[coughs]

441
00:18:47,313 --> 00:18:49,683
[indistinct]

442
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:52,452
A lounge singer. You mean, like
John Davidson at the Ramada.

443
00:18:52,519 --> 00:18:53,587
Eventually.

444
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,589
I mean, you know, I
have to start small.

445
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:58,759
Uh, mini malls and‐and open mike
nights and church basements.

446
00:18:58,825 --> 00:19:01,768
I remember when you sang at
grandpa Jerry's funeral.

447
00:19:01,835 --> 00:19:03,537
Oh, there wasn't a dry
eye in the house.

448
00:19:03,604 --> 00:19:06,272
Baby, that's probably
'cause, uh, Jerry was dead.

449
00:19:08,341 --> 00:19:10,677
If singing is your
dream, I'll support you.

450
00:19:10,744 --> 00:19:13,313
Even if it is a
little bit loony.

451
00:19:13,379 --> 00:19:14,779
Maybe, I'll put a
few jokes together

452
00:19:14,845 --> 00:19:15,980
and be your opening act.

453
00:19:16,046 --> 00:19:17,684
That's not part of the dream.

454
00:19:17,751 --> 00:19:21,387
So, can we consider
this crisis solved?

455
00:19:21,454 --> 00:19:22,556
Well, I don't think so.

456
00:19:22,623 --> 00:19:24,558
We have a lot more
talking to do.

457
00:19:24,625 --> 00:19:25,892
I'm willing.

458
00:19:25,959 --> 00:19:28,294
And I promise I won't
say anything funny.

459
00:19:28,361 --> 00:19:29,830
Don't I know it.

460
00:19:31,064 --> 00:19:33,634
Oh, that's a step in
the right direction.

461
00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:37,170
Look at that, look at that. Mummy, daddy.
Mummy, daddy.

462
00:19:37,237 --> 00:19:38,872
Aww.

463
00:19:38,939 --> 00:19:41,441
Mother, would you like
to sing at our wedding?

464
00:19:43,009 --> 00:19:45,646
Oh, I get to wear my
Paddy Lavelle wig.

465
00:19:45,712 --> 00:19:47,447
Oh, my God.

466
00:19:47,514 --> 00:19:49,650
Now, I can put a tip jar
on the organ for you.

467
00:19:49,716 --> 00:19:51,417
And, uh, tsk, I'll put
in the first dollar.

468
00:19:51,484 --> 00:19:52,519
‐ Alright. ‐ Come on.

469
00:19:52,586 --> 00:19:54,287
‐ We're out of here.
‐ Share the love.

470
00:19:56,890 --> 00:19:58,458
Yeah, I'm glad you're
feeling better

471
00:19:58,525 --> 00:20:00,627
my back on track bride‐to‐be.

472
00:20:00,694 --> 00:20:02,769
Glad to be back, my
soon to be suitor.

473
00:20:02,836 --> 00:20:04,404
Give me love.

474
00:20:05,906 --> 00:20:08,509
[piano music]

475
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:14,915
♪ That's what friends ♪

476
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:19,820
♪ Are for ♪

477
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,592
Who's next?

478
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:28,662
Odelle, I heard you singing
in the ladies room. Come on.

479
00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:30,030
No, girl. Uh‐uh.

480
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:32,065
I'm a, I'm a housewife.
I don't sing.

481
00:20:32,132 --> 00:20:33,900
Come on. Go release yourself.

482
00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:36,537
It's fun, come on. Here, here.

483
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:37,714
‐ Go ahead. ‐ I'm
doing this for you.

484
00:20:37,738 --> 00:20:38,905
‐ For us. ‐ Go ahead, mama.

485
00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:40,216
‐ Don't worry. Sing it mama.
‐ I'm not doing..

486
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,720
‐ I'm doing this for you.
‐ Sing mama.

487
00:20:41,744 --> 00:20:42,809
Okay.

488
00:20:42,876 --> 00:20:44,645
♪ Keep smiling ♪

489
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,547
♪ Keep shining ♪

490
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:50,450
♪ Knowing you can always count ♪

491
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,285
♪ On me ♪

492
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:55,021
♪ For sure ♪

493
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:59,560
♪ That's what friends are for ♪

494
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,502
♪ In good times ♪

495
00:21:01,568 --> 00:21:02,836
♪ And bad times ♪

496
00:21:02,903 --> 00:21:06,188
♪ I'll be on your
side forever more ♪

497
00:21:06,189 --> 00:21:09,475
♪ I'll be on your
side forever more ♪

498
00:21:10,476 --> 00:21:12,378
♪ Ooh that's ♪

499
00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:14,447
♪ What ♪

500
00:21:14,515 --> 00:21:16,617
♪ Friends ♪

501
00:21:16,683 --> 00:21:19,920
♪ Are ♪

502
00:21:19,986 --> 00:21:24,057
♪ For ♪

503
00:21:24,124 --> 00:21:27,060
[all cheering]

504
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:33,233
Oh, you've got so
much potential.

505
00:21:40,807 --> 00:21:43,744
[theme music]